So, a reader has brought to my attention that I never really took the time to explain what my “job” is. I belong to the Village-Based Development project in Samoa; my job here, basically, is to go into a Samoan village and do stuff. Incidentally, I belong to the last group of Peace Corps Samoa VBD volunteers. Shortly after I swore in as a volunteer last year, the post decided to refocus the Peace Corps Samoa project back to village based development through the schools.

I should also confess that in writing this blog, I have painted an unrealistically rosy picture of my life in Samoa. I have omitted nearly all the frustrations, challenges and hardships I have endured over the course of the past nine months, particularly the most stressful. And while the reporter in me deeply regrets the lack of forthrightness in my writing here (not to mention the fact that the worst headaches make for the best stories), I’m not sure how much I’ll change this writing approach.

The heat, the bugs, spotty electricity and dodgy water, getting used to different food – the kind of things we anticipate being difficult – in reality, these are not what make Peace Corps service difficult. But every post, and even every site, will have its own unique challenges. I’ll briefly, if not vaguely, run through some of my own:

While there are people in Lotofaga whom I adore both personally and professionally, finding motivated village counterparts has been challenge. I have also had to deal with malicious vandalism/property damage, sexual harassment, the effects of negative rumors and gossip, among other things.

I have also had the unique challenge of trying to explain what and who a Peace Corps volunteer actually is. The American university students who visit my village twice a year have a less than stellar reputation (i.e., they spend their visit on the beach drinking). Nonetheless, the village does enjoy them, and families are paid very well to host them for the 10 days they are here. My problem is that the entire village calls these college kids the pisikoa (Samoan for Peace Corps). Needless to say, this has created some very unique headaches for me. (The one positive is that I am the only Peace Corps Samoa volunteer I know who has never been told I have bad Samoan, as the folks here all know what bad Samoan actually sounds like.)

Although the library is going well, I also have two or three failed projects under my belt. And the reality is that I will have far more failures than successes during my two years of service.

The important thing to remember, as a volunteer, is that we’d all have frustrations and challenges and bad days in any job at home too (that’s life) – the real challenges for Peace Corps volunteers are: a.) all the problems we deal with are totally different than the things we’ve gotten used to dealing with at home and b.) our “job” is quite literally our entire life – we can’t go home, eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and fall asleep to Conan to forget about our bad day at work.

I’ve narrowed down three character traits, which I personally feel, are essential to being a good Peace Corps volunteer: being able to wake up every morning thinking, “I have no idea what crazy thing is going to happen to me today (but I know it’s out there waiting for me);” being comfortable letting go of what few shreds of sanity you may still possess after Peace Corps medical clearance and Pre-Service Training; and the ability to laugh, even when (especially when) things really aren’t funny.

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So, I wrote the preceding blog post before I awoke a few weeks ago to find evidence that someone had been trying to break into my house. As I wrote earlier, post decided the best option now is for me to relocate, and at the moment I still don’t know where I’ll end up.

And somehow, despite everything, I’ve never wanted to pack up and leave. I’m not sure what exactly it is that’s driving me – idealistic hope (probably not), blind determination (maybe a little), a passionate love of Samoa (mainly it just feels like home now) or just plain obstinacy (most likely) – but at this point, I’ve been through so much that I refuse to go home until August 2010 (when my service ends), unless I am sent home.